June 22, 2010

50 Things? Are You Kidding Me?

I wasn't sure I would tackle another writing assignment from Mama Kat this week, but the very first prompt made me laugh out loud.

1) The Love List. Write a list of 50 things you look for in a man. 

FIFTY?  Did I read that right? Has Mama Kat truly lost it this time?

Despite the fact that over the years people have implied that I might be, um, picky, never in my life did I have a list of 50 things I looked for in a man. Now I realize that with my paltry list, I have never even approached the realm of picky.

I'm sure my list was far different 25 years ago...who remembers that far back? It may have been longer, but I'm sure it was still short of 50. At this point in my life there are only a dozen or so items that I would look for, assuming I thought it was worth my time to look. With only a dozen items when I could have listed 50, this is really more of a Quarter-List, don't you think?

Alright. I've stalled as long as I can. Without further ado, here's the list:

1. A man who shares my faith. (Someone who is genuinely committed to Christ, not someone who says, "I consider myself a Christian but I don't buy that whole resurrection thing.")

2. A man who shares my moral values. (You would think sharing my faith would cover that, but alas, not so much.)

3. A man who doesn't think being the leader of the family is just a trump card from God to get his own way. (There seems to be a lot of that and I have to tell ya, I'm not remotely amused by it.)

4. A man who treats people in service roles with respect. (It's true that you can judge a man's character by how he treats waitresses.)

5. A man who knows himself and is secure enough with who he is that he isn't looking for someone to constantly feed his ego. (Something about sapping all of the energy out of you makes a man exceedingly unattractive.)

6. A man with a sense of humor. (I think there's a direct correlation between humor and intellect.)

7. A man who is old enough to have a first-hand memory of the moon landing. (Remember Delusions of Cougardom?)

8. A man who can have a conversation that doesn't revolve around himself. (Experience tells me that this one might be asking too much.)

9. If divorced, a man who is introspective enough to acknowledge his contribution to the failure of the marriage. (In case you're not aware of this, "It was all her fault," is never a good sign.)

10. A man who is not a total wuss when it comes to color. (I've mentioned this in passing at least once before, but beige is not a color.)

11. A man who can respect my opinions, whether he always agrees with me or not. (It's no fun being with someone who wants to debate all the time. For instance, I am never going to be a fan of Rush Limbaugh so don't waste your time - and mine - by trying to convince me to like him.)

12. A man who does not possess automatic weapons. (I live in a state where the legislature encourages anarchy because you never know when Bambi might rise up and try to shoot people.)

That's it...oh, wait. There is one more. He would have to love like accept cats. (Although who wouldn't love Lucy and Ethel?)

That's Ethel on the left, curled up with her sister, Lucy. 

For the record, I might be willing to compromise a little on #10. The bedspread under the lavender throw in the picture above is khaki. See? That's practically beige.

Tell, me, am I unreasonable? Am I totally unrealistic? Any major omissions?

Anybody want to share your list?


  1. I thought about doing this writer's workshop too...but I couldn't think of 50 either. You're list sounds good to me...now if there were men that fit that profile....

  2. Love your list, and I agree with all, with the possible exception of one. Maybe I shouldn't say which one for now, but are pistols, rifles, and shotguns exempt from the ban.
    Here's another one to add to your list if you don't mind the number 13. Watch how he acts when things go wrong, doesn't get his way. That will give you insights you'll need.

  3. Virginia - I'm thinking more along the lines of machine guns and assault rifles. Things people say they keep for hunting but strike me as overkill, no pun intended. I just think keeping those things around the house is asking for trouble. (Did you see the story about the home invasion over the weekend where the people stole assorted assault weapons?) Guns that fire one shot at a time seem sufficient to me.

    I do like your addition. With my cat requirement, that makes 14 things!

  4. I think your list is really very little and doable.

    I personally, well, I have been (ugh) divorced for all of a total 48 hours now...and the thought of being with any man other than my husband (I refuse to put ex before that!) repulses me. So, I can't even begin a list. I'm sure once I heal...realize he is NEVER coming back to ME...and decide I'm ready to move on...I will have a list 10,000 items long.

  5. I love your list. And I have to say that #4 has ended my respect for a lot of men. I'm sorry, but if you can't treat everyone like a human being than you're not worth my time.

    I would only exchange #7 for.. must love my daughter as his own and agree with my overall views on parenting.

    A couple of years ago I sat down with a friend and we wrote our "Ulitmite list" that included rediculous things like, "Must have a British accent" (Good luck with that in Texas). Even then I think we only pushed it to 30 so I can't imagine a list with 50 things.

  6. 50 is a long list! I don't think you're unreasonable at all! I love your list! I made a little list of my own once upon a time . . . and I found him!

  7. I remember oh so long ago when the #1 requirement on my list was Must have own vehicle. My list has expanded since then although having a vehicle in Oklahoma is not unreasonable. Oddly enough I was just reflecting on my list this past weekend...
    1. Must be passionate about God/Jesus
    2. Must be passionate about me
    3. Must be passionate about his career
    4. Must be intelligent
    5. Must have a sense of humor
    6. Must be kind
    7. Must be generous
    8. Must be able to fix things around the house or together we make enough money to hire someone to fix them.
    9. Must enjoy traveling
    10.Must have a car (lol)

    I may add to the list...I don't know. Each new relationship or observation of relationships causes adjustments.

    Love ya MJ

  8. That is a great list. The first one is on my list too. I think it is important that he shares the same faith as me, not just in terms of religion but also in practice. When my boyfriend asked me to go to church with him one day I just had this gut feeling that he just might be the one. We are still together now, 5 years and still going strong. =)

  9. Great list . . . I think 12 was a good place to stop. I can't imagine any man living up to 50 expectations. I'm still single, too, but I am learning from my married friends that they also have a list -- they just have a specific man they are trying to apply it to.

    Interesting -- I was thinking that my list for a husband is really similar to my "list" for friends, or at least the friends I usually am the closest too.

    Good thoughts here.

  10. Excellent list Margaret!

    Here's mine: (Not necessarily in order of importance.)

    He's got to have -

    A good sense of humor
    Be courteous
    Be thoughtful
    A good listener as well as
    A good conversationalist
    Cares about the environment
    Puts family first
    Has empathy for others
    Is an involved parent
    Shares in mundane chores

    I placed my order in for all of the above, and tomorrow, it's been 26 years that I have been blessed with my soul mate and best friend. :)

  11. great list. . . and completely doable, or is that

  12. I like how you made your list very personal to you, not just general characteristics. I'm enjoying reading your blog, too!

  13. Great input from all of you!

    Jennee - You're right...now to find him, and hope his list doable!

    Katie - You're wise to not jump back in too soon.

    Katy - He absolutely should love your daughter as his own!

    Stephenie - I guess handy around the house would be a good addition. Your husband does great work!

    Terry - I notice you've removed "must be willing to be crucified" for you.

    ChinkyGirlMeL - I think sharing faith makes everything easier.

    CharitySingleton - You're right. No one could live up to 50 items! And I think he should also be your best friend - I think that one has been on my list for so long that I take it for granted. I should have included it on this list.

    Paula - There's that best friend, again. It's also a great list - maybe I should add a few more items...

    Lea - Thanks, as always, for your encouragement. It all seems doable/beable to me!

    Jana Kaye - Thanks. I think some things need to be pretty specific. =)

  14. I'm with you ... 50 is way way way too long! I really like your list ... it is very specific and focused on what is important to you and "non-negotiable." love the color things in particular.

  15. 50! Wow. I can't imagine that, which is hilarious, cause I am single as well and get lots of people making comments about "pickiness".

  16. Great list! Wait, did I write that?

    I especially relate to the one about "A man who is not a total wuss when it comes to color." I've finally convinced the hubs to buy a pink, yes PINK shirt, and he has worn it!

    Thanks for dropping by my place. See ya!

  17. I agree with you on the whole cats thing! I have two cats and if a guy doesn't like them then that is to bad for him because I am going to walk away!

  18. I did the fifty things too, but I managed to do all 50 :)

    Being divorced myself, I can say I agree with you on #9. Everyone has their faults...Mine were that I was just too amazing and beautiful for him :P

  19. That's a great list and I don't have anywhere close to 50 things either so did not do this prompt. I used one of last week's--"It Happened At Work." Thanks for stopping by. Sounds like you had a fun place to work too!

  20. 50!? You're right--way too long! I actually had a single man I had just met ask me what was on my list a couple of weeks ago (yeah, it blew me away, too) and because I "threw out" my list about a year ago, I had to come up with requirements on the fly. Some are the same as yours:

    Needs to be a committed follower of Jesus (I figured this would take care of both faith and morals)

    Treats paupers and presidents the same way

    Is passionate about me AND our combined service to whatever the Lord has for us (an addendum to the first one)

    Able to get along with (or willing to learn) people from various countries, ethnic groups, races

    Good at his vocation/career (which is slightly different that successful)--can't abide mediocraty (sp?)

    Age difference +/- 10 years

    Likes to laugh

    Housebroken (usually means that he was previously married--I'd prefer a widower, but won't rule out a divorced man OR that he had a SUPER mom/grew up in a house with all sisters)

  21. I love the kitty cat entry! It is perfect! We're the same way here, and fortunately my hubby may like cats even more than I do. At least he DID ... once!

  22. 50 does seem excessive... but you're on a roll now!

    I would never compromise those adorable kitties. :)

    - Tonya (Letters For Lucas) stopping by from Mama Kat's

  23. Cats were a "must-accept" on a number of the lists I read. I read about 3 I think who made it to 50 items. Kudos to everyone who managed to do that! And Roxane, you have my admiration for persuading your husband to wear a pink shirt. If men only knew how attractive we find them in pink shirts, they'd wear 'em all the time!

    I might be able to double my must-haves based on everyone else's lists. There are a lot of things that I think of as givens, that I 'spose I should fess up to. Several included variations on "able to get along with others" and that's clearly a must-have!

    Thanks, everyone, for stopping by!

    Margaret =)

  24. Found this site from the Tea Party. I admit, I have revised my list a few times already and now I'm thinking of revising it again :) Someone who loves to travel and explore different places and cultures [wiht me] is definitely a big plus to me.

  25. VIsiting from the Tea Party. I love your list!

  26. Hi! I'm here from The Lady Bloggers Tea Party Social! Pleased to meet you. I've got a HELLO, HANDSOME blog party happening at my blog right now. I'd be tickled pink if you stopped by and joined in the fun.

    Homemaker Honey

  27. I think you're the 3rd person, just this weekend, that I've seen mention Mama Kat. I may have to check into her writing workshop for occasional inspiration. Isn't amazing how we can daydream for hours about what we want, but the minute we need to put it on paper, our brain goes blank?

  28. Your list is totally fair, genuine, and from the heart. Just curious, for #7, how old would that make him? There's something scary about guys (or girls!) who possess "automatic!" weapons! Stopping by from LBS, love your blog! : )

  29. Great list. Lucy and Ethel are adorable. I love Lucy too! :) I left an award for you on my blog.

  30. Have you ever seen the movie "Up in the Air"? There is this funny scene where the very young woman gives off her long list of man wishes and the much more mature woman knocks off two or three pretty simple ones ending with "if he still had his hair, that would be nice."

    Great movie. 50 things? Recipe for failure. Your list is much more reasonable.

  31. Shoot! I forgot about that one...and it wasn't crucified for me...He must be willing to die for me (ie-love me as Christ loved the Church) Thanks for the reminder...any takers? rofl