He Said, She Said

Or maybe it should be, "She said, he said."

I know I just posted yesterday about being too busy to blog right now, but there is an aspect to this story that is so irritating, I just had to stay up and write about it.

Tuesday morning, the Today show featured an interview with Lynn France, who says she discovered pictures from her husband's wedding on Facebook....while she was still married to him. Lynn and John France were married in 2005 in an extravagant destination wedding which took place in Italy. By 2008, she was beginning to suspect that John was having an affair. She tracked John down and discovered him with Amanda, who told Lynn that she and John planned to be married. John left Lynn soon after that. According to Lynn, John took the couples' two young sons without her knowledge from their home in Ohio to Florida, where he now lives with his new wife, Amanda. John claims that his marriage to Lynn was not valid due to a clerical error, and he has filed in Florida courts for custody of the children. Although Lynn discovered hundreds of pictures of John's wedding to Amanda at Disney World - apparently Amanda was dressed as Sleeping Beauty and John was dressed as Prince Charming - she told Meredith Vieira that the most painful part was finding pictures of her children on Amanda's Facebook page, leading her to feel taunted by Amanda.


Thursday morning, John and Amanda showed up on the Today show's couch for their own interview with Matt Lauer. John's version of the story is that Lynn knew that their marriage wasn't valid and that he was leaving her to marry Amanda. While saying he would not speak negatively about the mother of his children on national television, he strongly implied that she was either delusional or lying outright.

I have to tell you, I think Lynn and John are probably both playing a little loose with the facts to strengthen their own case. In all likelihood, the truth lies somewhere in between their two stories. I'm not sure either parent is prepared to put their feelings about the other aside long enough to do the best thing for the boys. Having said that, I lean towards Lynn's side since John and Amanda were about as sympathetic as the Salahis, particularly when Matt and Amanda had the following exchange:

Matt: Amanda , it seems that one of the things that bothers Lynn the most is when she looks on Facebook and she says postings of photos with you and the boys, and, 'I'm putting my little angels to bed,' that sort of thing. That you refer to them almost as your boys. Do you understand that at all?
 

Amanda: Yeah, I understand that perfectly. But, you know what, I love them more than life. And they're not my kids. But when they're with me, you know, I treat them like they are mine. You know, they're not mistreated. I don't know why there's a problem. It should not be a problem. I'm not taunting her. In my mind, taunting, the definition is going on national TV and making false accusations .

Obviously Amanda is clueless, and I'm sure she and John are no more interested in what I think than in what Lynn thinks, but nevertheless, here's my advice:

If you love those children more than life, you will not treat them like possessions.

If you love those children more than life, you will not use them to mark your territory on Facebook.
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If you love those children more than life, you will not come between them and their mother.

If you love those children more than life, you will honor their mother.

If you love those children more than life, you will be sensitive to their mother's feelings.

If you love those children more than life, you will treat their mother with respect.

If you love those children more than life, you will not build yourself up by causing their mother pain.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you..." 
~ Matthew 7:12

Until next time,
Margaret